Many couples in a relationship go through some sort of conflict at some time or other in their married life. However, it is how that conflict is handled that is the key to a successful relationship. If you have come to a cross roads in your relationship and don' t know which way to turn, then I can empathize with you. A couple of years back I was desperately looking for good relationship advice to save my marriage. The trouble was there was so much conflicting information out there I didn't know what to believe.
Two years on and my marriage is now stronger than ever, Here are just some of the processes that I found that worked to fix my bad relationship.
Understanding problems
When problems do arise it is sometimes because of a deeper meaning. For example, your partner might be really annoyed that you want to stay up and watch late night television, instead of going to bed when they do. However, it is probably not about the fact that your partner doesn't want you to watch TV, but it might be down to the fact that your partner thinks that you don't want to spend as much time with them as you used to. If you are able to recognise these deeper routed problems before they escalate, might help to avoid conflict further down the line.
Changing dynamics
Conflict can be caused through a changing dynamic. So as you go through married life, your circumstances change. The arrival of children into a relationship is a big dynamic change, as is changing your career, or increased workload. These changing circumstances happen in marriage or long term relationship, and are inevitable. However, it is how you deal with that change that will make or break your relationship. You need to acknowledge that a big change has taken place within your relationship and you need to work together, adapt and make that change work for you both.
Communication
Communication is not just about talking! It' s knowing when to talk and when to listen. Many marriages or relationships breakdown when one partner won't listen to the other partner, or vice versa. Set aside time each day to ask your partner how their day has been. If maybe they have had a bad day at work, then let them tell you about it! Act as a sounding board, as your partner might not want you to solve their work problems, but letting them talk to you and getting it off their chest will make them feel a whole lot better, and you will feel happier knowing that your partner feels more at ease.
Understanding conflict within the marriage and how to deal with it, is all part and parcel of married life. However, if you learn to apply these tips to your everyday relationship, then chances are, you will be able to deal with conflict in a much more rational way, perhaps even preventing it before it happens.
Two years on and my marriage is now stronger than ever, Here are just some of the processes that I found that worked to fix my bad relationship.
Understanding problems
When problems do arise it is sometimes because of a deeper meaning. For example, your partner might be really annoyed that you want to stay up and watch late night television, instead of going to bed when they do. However, it is probably not about the fact that your partner doesn't want you to watch TV, but it might be down to the fact that your partner thinks that you don't want to spend as much time with them as you used to. If you are able to recognise these deeper routed problems before they escalate, might help to avoid conflict further down the line.
Changing dynamics
Conflict can be caused through a changing dynamic. So as you go through married life, your circumstances change. The arrival of children into a relationship is a big dynamic change, as is changing your career, or increased workload. These changing circumstances happen in marriage or long term relationship, and are inevitable. However, it is how you deal with that change that will make or break your relationship. You need to acknowledge that a big change has taken place within your relationship and you need to work together, adapt and make that change work for you both.
Communication
Communication is not just about talking! It' s knowing when to talk and when to listen. Many marriages or relationships breakdown when one partner won't listen to the other partner, or vice versa. Set aside time each day to ask your partner how their day has been. If maybe they have had a bad day at work, then let them tell you about it! Act as a sounding board, as your partner might not want you to solve their work problems, but letting them talk to you and getting it off their chest will make them feel a whole lot better, and you will feel happier knowing that your partner feels more at ease.
Understanding conflict within the marriage and how to deal with it, is all part and parcel of married life. However, if you learn to apply these tips to your everyday relationship, then chances are, you will be able to deal with conflict in a much more rational way, perhaps even preventing it before it happens.
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