- Are you afraid of being rejected?
- Do you fear getting hurt when being involved with someone?
- Are you scared of saying or doing the wrong thing on a date?
- Do you fear letting go of your freedom as a single?
Well, you're not alone. Sometimes I get the feeling that singles look at dating and flirting as a horror movie. Most people I meet in my job as a love coach are deep down so scared that they start acting weird – and therefore stay single.
To be successful, find true love and live happily ever after, you need to embrace the fear and go for it anyway. Even the bravest of the brave feel fear, but the key to their courage is that they don't fear stop them! They feel the tingling in their bellies and they still do whatever they are afraid of.
Three things singles do out of fear and what you can do to handle it better.
1. You date many at the same time. It gives you a feeling of having a big safety net to fall in if one of the people you are seeing dumps you. But if you deep down assume you will be dumped, that is likely to happen, so expect instead success - and reach success. Dare to focus on one person and do your best. You are much more attractive when you're committed and concentrated on one person.
2. You don't date at all or finish every time it's heating up or they want to meet you irl. This keeps you away from getting the emotions that could be strong both up and down. Stop being such a coward and get out there! You won't find the love of your life in your apartment. Think: “What is the worst thing that can happen? Can I live with that?” And then think: “What is the best thing that can happen? Do I want that?”
3. You find faults in everyone you meet or don't believe in true love. Being bitter and picky keeps you away from true love where you yourself can be judged. Realize there is no such thing as a perfect person. No person will ever be 100 % - not even you... If you're open for 85 % partners you can find a true relationship instead of being single. It is not about taking Second best; it's about choosing to fall in love instead of being alone and waiting.
Other things we also do out of fear: We only date people who are “impossible”, like too young, already married or over seas; we stop having feelings for anyone at all or we scare people away, being clingy and desperate. In short, we sabotage for ourselves when we don´t have faith. But dear single, you should trust love! Fear is a part of life. It's natural to be scared of new things. You put your heart out there, and it could be dangerous so I'm not telling you to stop being scared – I'm telling you to accept the fear and do what you want anyway!
If you keep doing what you do today, you will get what you have today – not more. So loooove the scary parts of dating. Go for even more blind dates - and realise it wasn´t that bad after all! Tell more people you like them! Commit and get involved. Find true love. Feel alive! You will love it.
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