Someone recently left a comment on my blog about feeling unappreciated for what he or she does, and so I would like to address that comment in this article. Before I say more, though, I would like to begin by saying to you - the person who posted the comment - that I totally get where you are coming from! Feeling unappreciated is an that I have struggled with myself for many years. It is a painful and persistent emotional cycle to be caught in, so I want you to know that this article comes from a place of understanding, compassion and humility.
Of course, if you have studied the Law of Attraction even a little bit, then you know that when you are focused on feeling unappreciated (or any other negative thing), you draw more of that into your experience. We all understand that by now - at least on a conceptual level. But let's look at these emotional traps we get into and how we can best free ourselves of them.
If you are feeling unappreciated for a contribution you are making in life, then the first question to ask yourself is why you are doing what you are doing. In the example given by the person who made the comment, it was about feeling unappreciated in your line of work so let's use that example (although we could just as easily be talking about contributions in your private life as well). The first place to start is to become clear about why you are doing the work that you are doing.
What does it give you? Do you enjoy it? What purpose is it serving in your life? If you are doing something that you enjoy in principle, then that is a good starting place. You may be saying that you are doing things you have to do but you have no choice - they are things you do not enjoy but which must be done.
I know this may be hard to hear, but no matter what you are doing in life, you are getting something out of it at some level, otherwise you wouldn't be doing it. You may be getting to feel like the "good guy", the "victim", the "superior one", the "dutiful one", the "last boy scout" or whatever, but it is serving some part of you at some level. The trick is to find out what part of you is benefiting and to ask yourself if this is a part of you that you want to feed. Is it really serving you and getting you to where you want to go?
I understand that we all have some tasks that we do that aren't our favorite things. We have "jobs" and we have to pay the bills and so forth. I understand that. But your joy should be flowing from the inside out and not the other way around, regardless of the task you are doing. If your joy is flowing from within, you are not dependent on the appreciation of the outside world. The point is, you are doing what you are doing for your own reasons and you need to become clear and honest with yourself about what those reasons are. You need to become clear within yourself about what you are getting out of the situation you are in and why you are doing it.
Once you become clear about that, you can begin the work of discerning whether or not it serves you. Is what you are getting out of it positive? Is there enjoyment, growth, expansion? If the answer is yes, then you should begin to train yourself to focus on what you enjoy, what you are getting out of it and begin to make this voice stronger than the outside voices which are not appreciating you. YOU need to begin appreciating yourself and your contribution regardless of what the environment around you is doing. Then the universe can begin to correspond to this.
If the answer is no, then you need to revisit what you are doing. You may be perpetuating an "addiction" that you have to the emotional cycle you are in - especially if there is a repeating theme – for example other places in your life where you feel, or have felt, unappreciated. In this case, you will need to do some "emotional detox" in order get yourself out of the pattern you are in. I recently submitted an article entitled "Emotional Traps and Addictions", which was an excerpt from my book so you can find and read the article if you feel it resonates with you.
What I am saying is this: it is useless to spend your energy doing something and then expecting the outside world to have a specific reaction to it, and then getting upset when that reaction is not forthcoming. If you are perpetuating the emotional trap of feeling taken advantage of, of feeling unappreciated, of feeling victimized or whatever, then you are on a very long and arduous journey. Sometimes it may work out the way you want and many other times, it won't. If you are allowing your happiness to depend on what the outside world is doing or saying or on the reaction you are getting from "out there", then your happiness will be dictated to you by chance and your results will be pot luck.
You must focus on your joy - nothing else should matter as much as that. Whatever you are doing, it is your contribution, it is the value you are creating, it is your gift to the world. YOU begin to appreciate it, to value it, to love it, no matter what it is, and turn down the volume on the rest of the world. If you think you simply cannot love what you are doing, if there is absolutely no passion whatsoever, if you cannot appreciate the value you are creating by doing the task for which you feel unappreciated, then you really do need to revisit why you are doing it and find a way to stop. My article on Addictions may help, so please do find it and read it.
Of course, if you have studied the Law of Attraction even a little bit, then you know that when you are focused on feeling unappreciated (or any other negative thing), you draw more of that into your experience. We all understand that by now - at least on a conceptual level. But let's look at these emotional traps we get into and how we can best free ourselves of them.
If you are feeling unappreciated for a contribution you are making in life, then the first question to ask yourself is why you are doing what you are doing. In the example given by the person who made the comment, it was about feeling unappreciated in your line of work so let's use that example (although we could just as easily be talking about contributions in your private life as well). The first place to start is to become clear about why you are doing the work that you are doing.
What does it give you? Do you enjoy it? What purpose is it serving in your life? If you are doing something that you enjoy in principle, then that is a good starting place. You may be saying that you are doing things you have to do but you have no choice - they are things you do not enjoy but which must be done.
I know this may be hard to hear, but no matter what you are doing in life, you are getting something out of it at some level, otherwise you wouldn't be doing it. You may be getting to feel like the "good guy", the "victim", the "superior one", the "dutiful one", the "last boy scout" or whatever, but it is serving some part of you at some level. The trick is to find out what part of you is benefiting and to ask yourself if this is a part of you that you want to feed. Is it really serving you and getting you to where you want to go?
I understand that we all have some tasks that we do that aren't our favorite things. We have "jobs" and we have to pay the bills and so forth. I understand that. But your joy should be flowing from the inside out and not the other way around, regardless of the task you are doing. If your joy is flowing from within, you are not dependent on the appreciation of the outside world. The point is, you are doing what you are doing for your own reasons and you need to become clear and honest with yourself about what those reasons are. You need to become clear within yourself about what you are getting out of the situation you are in and why you are doing it.
Once you become clear about that, you can begin the work of discerning whether or not it serves you. Is what you are getting out of it positive? Is there enjoyment, growth, expansion? If the answer is yes, then you should begin to train yourself to focus on what you enjoy, what you are getting out of it and begin to make this voice stronger than the outside voices which are not appreciating you. YOU need to begin appreciating yourself and your contribution regardless of what the environment around you is doing. Then the universe can begin to correspond to this.
If the answer is no, then you need to revisit what you are doing. You may be perpetuating an "addiction" that you have to the emotional cycle you are in - especially if there is a repeating theme – for example other places in your life where you feel, or have felt, unappreciated. In this case, you will need to do some "emotional detox" in order get yourself out of the pattern you are in. I recently submitted an article entitled "Emotional Traps and Addictions", which was an excerpt from my book so you can find and read the article if you feel it resonates with you.
What I am saying is this: it is useless to spend your energy doing something and then expecting the outside world to have a specific reaction to it, and then getting upset when that reaction is not forthcoming. If you are perpetuating the emotional trap of feeling taken advantage of, of feeling unappreciated, of feeling victimized or whatever, then you are on a very long and arduous journey. Sometimes it may work out the way you want and many other times, it won't. If you are allowing your happiness to depend on what the outside world is doing or saying or on the reaction you are getting from "out there", then your happiness will be dictated to you by chance and your results will be pot luck.
You must focus on your joy - nothing else should matter as much as that. Whatever you are doing, it is your contribution, it is the value you are creating, it is your gift to the world. YOU begin to appreciate it, to value it, to love it, no matter what it is, and turn down the volume on the rest of the world. If you think you simply cannot love what you are doing, if there is absolutely no passion whatsoever, if you cannot appreciate the value you are creating by doing the task for which you feel unappreciated, then you really do need to revisit why you are doing it and find a way to stop. My article on Addictions may help, so please do find it and read it.
No comments:
Post a Comment