In the final part of this series,I am repeating what I did say in the former two posts,which is,divorce does not happen overnight. It is a process. But most couples are usually unaware of the fact that their relationship is on the verge of collapse.
There are reasons why you must gain insight and know all about what I call the "stages of divorce". First of all,it will assist you to identify and exterminate those "little things" that lead to a divorce. Also, it will help you have that saccharine kind of relationship you have always dream of, as well as give you the ability to maintain a healthy relationship forever.
Let me now conclude the other stages of divorce now!
STAGE THREE: THE INERT STAGE
When the wrongdoing stage is not effectively dealt, it escalate into the stage I call the "inert stage" where the situation may now be getting out of hand. The inert stage is where a partner whose "wounds" in the wrongdoing stage have not been healed, so he or she becomes nonreactive or passive towards her partner who offended him or her.When a person is in the inert stage of the divorce process he does not involve himself in much.He or she sits and watches unconcerned and uninvolved. At night, a person who aggressively,romantically,skillfully participate fully in loving making with his or her partner totally and suddenly becomes lukewarm towards his or her partner (that is, if there is "love" making in the first place!).
When the wrongdoing stage is not effectively dealt, it escalate into the stage I call the "inert stage" where the situation may now be getting out of hand. The inert stage is where a partner whose "wounds" in the wrongdoing stage have not been healed, so he or she becomes nonreactive or passive towards her partner who offended him or her.When a person is in the inert stage of the divorce process he does not involve himself in much.He or she sits and watches unconcerned and uninvolved. At night, a person who aggressively,romantically,skillfully participate fully in loving making with his or her partner totally and suddenly becomes lukewarm towards his or her partner (that is, if there is "love" making in the first place!).
Also, at the inert stage, there is less and less interaction between partners. A partner who is usually active at home suddenly becomes dull and goes "blank". Please watch out if your partner is unreasonably quiet at home.When I talk about being quiet, I am not referring to someone who has a naturally subdued personality. I am referring to someone who is normally outgoing but is consciously subdued and detached. That is what I am talking about!Be concerned if your wife,husband,fiance,fiancee,boyfriend or girlfriend is "artificially",unreasonably and unusually unruffled,calm and cool.It will be best to often ask your partner, "Honey, are you happy?".
It could be that your partner might had gradually graduated from stages one to two, and now stage three unnoticed.At times when one has really done all the nine tips stated in the wrongdoing stage in an attempt of gaining the sincere forgiveness from his or her partner, the partner may not know how to truly forgive his or her partner who did offend him or her.
The following tips will help you easily overcome your inability to forgive a love one:
1. Stop reliving the situation.
2. Stop making excuses for why you are so easily hurt.
3. Stop trying to get even with people who have hurt you.
4. Do not pretend you are not hurt.
5. Do not decide not to trust anymore.
d. Do not harden your heart.
1. Stop reliving the situation.
2. Stop making excuses for why you are so easily hurt.
3. Stop trying to get even with people who have hurt you.
4. Do not pretend you are not hurt.
5. Do not decide not to trust anymore.
d. Do not harden your heart.
Being nonreactive or passive is precarious because you move rapidly into the next, the censure stage of divorce, where one puts across strong criticism and disapproval. Remember one has to be uninvolved to be critical.
STAGE FOUR: THE CENSURE STAGE
The censure stage is where a partner becomes extremely critical in the relationship.It is the stage of discerning,taking in and magnifying faults. When divorce is fast hitting a marriage, a partner who was jolly passive do not remain in the inert stage forever. He or she becomes advances into becoming critical.
The censure stage is where a partner becomes extremely critical in the relationship.It is the stage of discerning,taking in and magnifying faults. When divorce is fast hitting a marriage, a partner who was jolly passive do not remain in the inert stage forever. He or she becomes advances into becoming critical.
A partner in the censure stage analyzes the relationship he or she is involved and suddenly notices all the paucity of the relationship. Always remember: if you view something with a censure eye, you will only see the defects.
Criticism blinds! Criticism destroys! Whatever you criticize fights you! Whatever you criticize runs away from you!
STAGE FIVE: THE POLLUTION STAGE
In the pollution stage, an infuriated and wounded partner tries to persuade others to side with him or her against his or her partner. For example, a wife may try to make everybody believe that she is right and her husband is the bad one.She wants to gather a following and make people believe that she has identified a real problem that is eating up their relationship and must be addressed.Gradually she is able to spread her dissenting feelings to a group of gullible friends,family members and colleagues.
In the pollution stage, an infuriated and wounded partner tries to persuade others to side with him or her against his or her partner. For example, a wife may try to make everybody believe that she is right and her husband is the bad one.She wants to gather a following and make people believe that she has identified a real problem that is eating up their relationship and must be addressed.Gradually she is able to spread her dissenting feelings to a group of gullible friends,family members and colleagues.
What people think and say is what concerns a partner most in this stage.A mother may take advantage of being close to her children to pollute the minds her children to see their father as the problem causer and she their mother as the saint.Obviously some children will also tend to flow with their dad if they are the dad's favorites. Surely, a house divided against it self will fall.At this stage, the probability of a divorce hitting the marriage is really great. Only a miracle could save the marriage or relationship now!Please do not get to this stage in the first place.
STAGE SIX: THE DECEPTION STAGE
At this stage, most partners are usually carried away and do not really figure out what they are doing themselves. They behave as if they are in a battle and they surely has to come out victors.They do not see eye to eye with their partners. It is at this stage that partners see no reason why they should both live under the same roof.
At this stage, most partners are usually carried away and do not really figure out what they are doing themselves. They behave as if they are in a battle and they surely has to come out victors.They do not see eye to eye with their partners. It is at this stage that partners see no reason why they should both live under the same roof.
Fighting, quarreling and backbiting become the order of the day if they still live under the same roof. They become jealous of one another.There is absolutely no peace at their home.They do all these things because they are deceived into thinking that there is a perfect one out there for them. Let me be frank with you, a relationship is not easily built.It is like a house. Ones time, money and energy greatly goes into it. Please let me not talk about the difficulty in finding a person to even start one with. So you see,it is sheer ignorant and deception that makes a person destroy a relationship he or she has spent time building. Just think of you pulling down your mansion. I am already shaking!
One thing that I am sure about is that people who rebel against their are nauseatingly deceived.If not, they would not do some of the things they did. Many partners who have revolted have ended up in destruction and I do not think any partner intends to destroy his or her life.
Deceptions of many lovers (what they think and say):
1. Many women are deceived into thinking that they are still young and beauty, with two "standing up" breast to enchant any man should they do away with their partners.
2. "You are not good enough for me", as always said.
3. "Better women and men are out there eager to be in my arms".
4. "I know my right"
5. Thinking that marriage is sugary like those we see in most soap operas.
6. Love is all about sex, sex and more sex.
7. Divorce is the smartest way of avoiding a bad marriage.
8. The law will always protect me. Remember, the law can physically protect you but cannot give you the sexual pleasures and true romance,take away your depressions and emotional frustrations.
9. There is an easy-going relationship out there.
10. Deceived by recent success.
Deception leads to the final stage,the open revolt.
1. Many women are deceived into thinking that they are still young and beauty, with two "standing up" breast to enchant any man should they do away with their partners.
2. "You are not good enough for me", as always said.
3. "Better women and men are out there eager to be in my arms".
4. "I know my right"
5. Thinking that marriage is sugary like those we see in most soap operas.
6. Love is all about sex, sex and more sex.
7. Divorce is the smartest way of avoiding a bad marriage.
8. The law will always protect me. Remember, the law can physically protect you but cannot give you the sexual pleasures and true romance,take away your depressions and emotional frustrations.
9. There is an easy-going relationship out there.
10. Deceived by recent success.
Deception leads to the final stage,the open revolt.
STAGE SEVEN: OPEN REVOLT
At this stage, partners make their intentions clearly known to the partners, "I want a divorce now!", as you will often here.This is the stage where you really figure out what is in your partners heart.This open fight comes about because of the confidence a partner develops over the months and years. He or she gains psychological support by gaining the support of some of the people he or she converses with.
At this stage, partners make their intentions clearly known to the partners, "I want a divorce now!", as you will often here.This is the stage where you really figure out what is in your partners heart.This open fight comes about because of the confidence a partner develops over the months and years. He or she gains psychological support by gaining the support of some of the people he or she converses with.
Most at times, the partner who seeks divorce analyzes the merits and demerits of their partners against whom they are trying to revolt, analyzing what they stand to lose and what they stand to gain.Subsequently,they expose themselves to be what they are at heart.
Avoid Divoice
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