You've found out that your partner was unfaithful and are absolutely heartbroken. But even still, you are pretty sure that you want to save your relationship after an affair. You are already on the right path as this is a positive position to take following an affair. The biggest stumbling block is imagining life AFTER the affair, so the fact that you can still imagine being with your spouse is a good sign that repairing what has been broken is possible.
It is extremely difficult to rebuild shattered trust. And shatter trust is EXACTLY what an affair does. This causes niggling doubts to eat away at you day after day. An affair does this to us as the betrayal from the person we love the most, behind our backs, and right under our noses is just really hard to bear. It is the worst kind of pain because when you open yourself up to love like that, you allow yourself to also be vulnerable to immense hurt and pain.
Your attitude is commendable, that you can even consider continuing on thinking about your spouse, so the fact that you want to save your relationship after an affair puts you one big step in that direction. You must accept that it will take time to rebuild the trust that you lost when your partner cheated, but over time, and with effort, it can be returned. But this WILL take time. You will likely find yourself a bit sensitive for awhile, keenly aware of every detail, looking for any sign that they are straying again, and this is natural, but you have to keep yourself from getting in this mindset as much as possible.
But before you commit yourself to saving your relationship after an affair, truly look the situation over with as objective of a mindset as you can possibly muster. Can you trust him or her not to stray again? Do they really seem sorry and changed? Are you prepared to get on that tough, painful path towards forgiveness that you will need to travel to save the relationship. A long term relationship full of doubt and suspicion is not one worth saving, but if you can try to rebuild that bond and work through the pain, you can make things work and get back on the path towards mutual happiness.
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